Friday, December 14, 2012

My Rhododendron Temple


I attended All Saints Elementary School.  We had the olive green uniforms and recess on an asphalt parking lot. All of the teachers were soon to be beatified women and the principle was a stern but kind-hearted nun.  Eight o’ clock every morning was Mass, followed by a morning prayer and the usual pursuits of academic achievement.  School actually started at eight-forty-five.  It is funny when you look back on the experience of going to daily mass for the first five years of your young adolescent life.  I am sure that I misbehaved a number of times.  But I am also certain that the daily sight of lit candles, the beauty of a decorated altar, the smell of old oak pews and the statues of saints long dead wrote a script on my heart.  I never like being there.  I also never insisted that I not be there.  It was a weird mix of emotion.  The priest had a really thick polish accent; the kind that sounds like a lot of chaa’s and shir’s with a vowel thrown in every so often.  I went because my mom said I had to.  I believed because it was what I had been told to do.  I rose for the Nicene Creed and I sat for the Homily.  I knelt for the consecration and I held hands for the Our Father.  To a non-believer this may all seem like the behavior of a Pavlovian Dog.  To a fellow Catholic, however, it is a celebration of the universal faith.   Us Catholics are a bit of a psychological experiment in and of ourselves, my generation in particular.

One day, I remember walking into my fourth grade classroom and hanging up my coat.  The other four students (in my class of twenty-eight) that attended Mass daily had already left to find their seat in the “assigned” pew.  I was alone.  I was not accountable to anybody.  Sr. Claude, the principal had already left the building.  Mrs. Cutler, my teacher was somehow absent from the room.  I suddenly became overtaken by the idea to avoid the day’s liturgy at all cost.  Perhaps I could hide in the closet?  No good, other students would arrive and question my sanity.  Perhaps I could make a run for the bathroom?  It worked in Montessori like a charm, why not here?  I quickly surmised, for one, it is a half of an hour in a school bathroom and for two; it is a half of an hour in a school bathroom.  Gross.  I walked outside the school still unnoticed by any teachers or that sneaky janitor Mrs. Bostwick only to behold the makings of a plan.

On the side of the church were a number of gigantic rhododendrons.  If you have never seen one of these Pacific Northwest plants, you really are missing out.  They provide glorious budding flowers in the spring and rich green leaves year around.  Most importantly they are very sturdy and thick.  I don’t know where the idea came from, and to this day, I don’t know what possessed me to choose this particular course of action.  As the bells began to ring, signaling the beginning of the morning liturgy, I climbed inside of this woody skeletal plant.  Did I mention that they are sturdy?  This thing was huge and thick with foliage.  I found a branch strong enough to hold me and nestled in like an owl at daybreak.

You might guess that it was pretty boring in my anti-liturgical hideaway.  I vividly remember the guilt of missing Mass, but more importantly I remember as a fourth grade boy actually asking myself, “What am I doing here?”  What could possibly be happening inside that is so awful that I am willing to soak my corduroy pants from the dripping leaves of this rainy bush.  Why on earth am I so determined to not sing, “Here I am Lord” and stare at Mother Mary in her usual pose of squishing a snake and holding her Son?  What am I afraid of?  Fear was a new emotion for me when it came to Church.

Now that I look back, I think that I was afraid of the truth that was revealed on the altar.  I never wanted to take refuge in God. I just like to challenge Him. At the time I probably thought is was an innovative way to rebel and maybe get caught up on some Botany homework.  I didn’t want everything that I had been raised to believe in to actually be truth.  I wanted His words to fail.  I think that as I approached the years in life when I thought my parents became idiots and the universe revolved around me, I wanted to believe that my faith would fade like my brothers hand-me-down clothes.  I wanted God to go away because he was in charge and I didn’t like authority. I saw no need for His shield.  Clearly this is a theme in my life.  Authority or authorship is a part of faith that very few people accept without a conflict at some point.  How many Christians do you know that have always accepted God as ruler in their life and have never questioned His judgment, His plan, and/or His methods?  If someone blindly follows His word, then they never internalize His love.  If somebody constantly challenges His will, then they can never know His protection.  It is a tough place to be, especially for a fourth grader.

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