I only got into one fistfight with my brother.
I stole his bike when I was in sixth grade and let my friend Scott ride
it. When Scott and I returned from our tour de neighborhood, my brother
looked at me with disgust and couldn't believe what I had done. I
dismissed him with a typical adolescent scoff and he proceeded to let me know
that my commandeering of his choice vehicle would not go without
punishment. Being in front of a friend, I thought I would show off a bit
and take a swing at my rather large brother who out weighed me by 25 pounds.
He literally caught my fist in his hand. Like
something out of a Jason Statham movie, he looked me dead in the eye as if to
say, "I see that you have attempted to take the matter to another level.
This level will no doubt produce an unwanted reaction by me which will in
turn leave bruises on your face." He then proceeded
to pugilisticaly pummel me. I only remember getting a couple
hits in. Okay, none. And I am sure my brother didn't actually think
all those things. He was probably just pissed.
He was a big guy. After beating the crap
out of me, my brother carried me to my mom and informed her what he and I had
done. Telling her the story of the bike, my friend and my saucy attitude.
My mother looked at me with my slightly bloody nose then looked at my brother
with his sincere eyes and determined intent. She then proceeded to punish
me. Can you believe it? I was the one in trouble!?! Mr.
perfect youngest son was getting sent to his room over a bike? Have you
seen my face?
It was a great moment in
my adolescence on a number of levels. First, I learned about my
brother's limits. I never crossed them again. Never. He and I
had our differences, but never went to blows. We grew up sharing a room most of
our years and could not have been a more different pair. My brother is a
scientists and I am, well, not. He is a well thought out and well spoken
Dr. of Geochemistry and I am, well, a youth minister. You get the
picture.
Second, I learned about integrity. You can
act all you want based on your own moral understanding. You can convince
yourself that your actions have merit and will be judged true because of your
own intentions. However, when your actions affect another person and
their will...there are consequences. My parents probably lectured me on
this a thousand times. I never really understood it until my brother's
fists took me to school. I had learned my lesson regarding moral
relativism and decided to stick with absolute moral norms instead. Better
said, I began to subscribe to the power of the informed conscious and
a life of faith formed intuition. There would be way less hitting for me.
There is truth and there are lies. There
is right and wrong. Human relationships our in a balance because these
things are beautifully God given. Thank God. When we act out of social
pressure or selfish need, imbalance can seem justified but usually only ends up
driving us into a place of self induced timeout or...worse.
My brother is a father of six children, a
husband and a professional. I love him dearly and still look up to him as
a friend and as a man. Honestly, I am thankful for the lesson. It
probably saved me from entering into a number of unwanted moral dilemmas.
Needless to say, I never took his bike again. Now, his car on the
other hand...
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