One bathroom shall serve them all.

Being a father of daughters, I am always taken back by the gasp that exits people's faces when I tell them that I have one bathroom and five girls.  The next assertion is generally concern for me as a parent  when my children enter their teenage years.  I can certainly empathize with this idea.  My children already compete for the one hairbrush of twenty that we own that they claim does not rip their hair out when they brush it.  Mornings are like responding to an alarm in a fire station only with more pink, hair ties and drama.  I think I hear CBS calling.  My girls argue over cereal, noise, eye contact, milk consumption and the weather.  They also dispute over shared shoes, some clothes, tooth paste and my attention.

I come from a family of five people.  I have a brother and a sister. My mother was a nurse and my father a long haul trucker.  My dad recently retired.  Reflecting on my childhood, I discovered something fairly astonishing.  My dad has been absent half of my life.  Allow me to explain.

My dad, a wonderful man and dedicated husband, would drive a long distance every other day.  When we lived in Spokane, WA he drove to Bellingham, WA every other day.  Years later his route changed to Boise, ID then Billings, MT.  Every other day he was in a hotel sleeping before piling back into a truck and returning home.  When home, he would sleep, parent, catch up on responsibilities, etc.  Quite a life when you really think about it.

Don't get me wrong, I had a great childhood.  Rarely did I ever feel lacking.  In my adult years, however, I cannot help feel this deep burning need to catch up on time with my parents, especially my dad.  I just want to hang out.  Be present.  You know?

My oldest is ten and my youngest is two.  There is nothing I would rather do than spend time with them.  Time is like a precious commodity in a fluctuating market.  Some weeks I have a ton of it and its value is modest.  Other weeks there is very little of it available and its value is precious.  The time I spend with my kids, my wife, my God has to be intentional and disciplined.

In youth ministry we call this the "Ministry of Presence."  The very nature of being present is in itself its own gift.  Our presence sends a message of dedication, trust, investment and most of all, comfort.  Others our comforted by our desire just to be there.  We witness discipleship by the sheer nature of our attendance at family, school and church functions.  We are present because we are part of the wholeness and formation of young people

I know this is true with my own kids.  When I can just be with them there stems a natural sense of accountability and wholeness.  My  wife likens it to peace with a little harmony.  Of course, harmony in a house of five little girls is akin to a symphony playing on a stage being pulled by a speed boat, but it will have to do.

Be present to family, faith and formation today.  You will never regret time dedicated to others.  The longings of the generations to come ought to come from their desire to be present to others.